Things I've Learned From My Exes

I'd always been really lucky in relationships until my last one. Thankfully I've always had doting partners, open communication and equal levels of affection, not to mention emotional footing. Looking back now with glacial clarity, I realize that sometimes two people are just like oil and water--or in the case of my ex and I, gasoline and a huge, blazing fire--and a relationship just wreaks absolute and utter havoc on one or both partners.

The other day while musing at my desk and looking out the window at leaves rattling in the wind, I started thinking about all the things I've learned from my relationships. Each man who has stepped into my life has walked out leaving a lasting impression. Most were good. Few were bad. I think the most important lesson I got out of everything is this: if you are not happy while being alone, do not even dare entering a relationship. You cannot try to make one person your sole source of happiness no matter how much it seems like the easy road out. You have to be strong on your own, even if you are in a new country and feel totally alone (as was in my case).

It absolutely amazes me how shutting just person out of my life has not only made my life return to normal (see: no longer severely depressed), it has also allowed me to spread my wings and fly higher than I ever could before. There is no doubt in my mind that if I had stayed where I was, I would still be wallowing around hollow inside. It is a huge relief and such a lifting of a burden to see immediate positive effects on your life once you completely cut contact with a single person. Because I broke free, I was able to continue with my schooling, land a job in my field and start seriously saving money. A year ago I was despondent. Today I am triumphant.